Habits That Will Make or Break Love.

When we miss out any, that’s when it fades away day by day until we realize our hearts are no longer connected.

Author: Iribagiza Patience

There is a lot of things that we think we know what they are until we face them. Right? Everyone has his or her story. Who knows how the unborn baby will look like, may be we will imagine he/she will look like his/her parents. So, is love.

What is love? They say it’s an intense feeling of deep affection for someone or something. It might be interests, pleasure, or desires you name it. I add on complex because sometimes we can’t define it at all. And when we fall in love, we don't stop a bit to ask ourselves if it is just a crush or love.

I remember it like it was yesterday. This is how I met first love. It was my first job after high school. You can imagine how excited I was to start working in a five star hotel. I had come for a training of waitress for upcoming big party of our president’s inauguration.

Lucky enough I went through and the next day I started my work as a guest service associate. It was 17th of August 2017 when they welcomed me as a new employee and I was sent to Human Resource office for all the necessary registrations and uniforms.

I knocked at a white sound proof door that looked so heavy, if one was to carry it. And there was no reply and in no minute, I saw a guy waving at me saying to come in.

I went in and found three to four workers in the office. Always thought people who worked in HR department were kinda old, harsh a little bit, strict and mostly women.

I thought they were people who can handle any employees even the most annoying ones.

Out of my surprise, the one I was sent to wasn’t. He was a young, tall almost my height, dark skinned and a little thin man. The first thing he said to me was teasing me about my age. He said at least you have eighteen years of age not to put the company in trouble. I was shocked!

Time went by, since I was so skinny, they had to make my uniforms. In the meantime, he requested me to come and have lunch with him at the employees’ canteen.

I hesitated because I was still nervous about my new job and he was a stranger to me by then. If you ever feel that way, you can understand.

Our lunch was perfect it felt like we knew each other. Like old friends who lost touch. I was quiet and wondering if I was just dreaming. How do you call that? Love at first sight or maybe I just liked him.

He was openly sharing his plans with me. I was busy in my mind wondering if I should tell him; ”hey, I am a stranger, remember”! But I couldn’t.

I grew up thinking that love is the perfect thing one can have in this world!

But as I got to know the world better and better every day, this love was no longer there. Every one named it their way. They called it, fake, materialistic, and untrue. What if it wasn't love itself?

Sometimes people will do anything in the name of love to win you just because they like to have you around when they literally don’t love you. Love is love and it will always be love.

When we are in a relationship of two, love comes first. You fight, argue and sometimes decide to give each other time to be yourselves. If it's love, it finds its way back home. We were two imperfect beings that decide to be close and be together. But it didn't take a long time for us to face our first challenge.

One day I run into a disagreement with the very person that mattered to me most. The one that if something was wrong between us, everything in my life would be crashed. Everyone had his or her opinion on what happened.

We saw things differently concerning the situation and we decided to just give each other time to think about it which literally was not the point but our anger kept us quiet without talking to each other.

I felt so heartbroken to a point I wondered if this mattered anymore! I asked myself if I ever thought twice before I decide to be in this relationship. I couldn’t sleep all night.

I wished time would pass to make over and get back to our normal loving life. It was hard since we couldn’t even talk. Even when we did we were like strangers who just met on the street going on different direction.

I kept myself calm to just let things happen the way they want to until I couldn’t resist sitting back when I knew something was wrong. We arranged a meet up, shared what we thought, sorted it out and it worked.

Love is so strong that it will push you to make things right. However it has to be clothed with communication, connection, honesty, trust, understanding and sharing one’s feelings about anything that makes you or breaks you. When we miss out any, that’s when it fades away day by day until we realize our hearts are no longer connected.

You might fall short in those but where there is love, there is always a second chance to correct what’s not going right. Quoting Bill Russell,” to love is nothing, to be loved is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything”, that’s when the two imperfect become perfect.

I am not an expert in the topic of love, but what I have seen and felt are enough for me to share my experience. I am still learning too.

If we have love, we have it all and all we have to do is water it with love languages, trust, being open, honest, understanding, and sharing everything.

Always remember. If you do something that you know you can’t tell the very person that matters to you, then don’t do it.

“Love is a fairy tale adventure, a treasure everyone would like to own, a feeling that can last for ages when cherished, a world that can never be described, and be told but felt” ~Iribagiza