We Are Only Humans. Seeing Beauty In Imperfection

It is no surprise that sometimes we do our best and still get unsatisfactory results. We are all born imperfect whether we like it or not.

Author: Utuje Bénie

Suppose you live together with a person. Whenever something bad or unexpected happens, he finds a way to put all the blame on you. If you start something and it turns out bad, you surely prepare yourself for the worst judgements possible.

He treats you as if everyone else is allowed to make mistakes but you.

He readily reminds you what you lack and your flaws every chance he gets.

The few times he appreciates you, he does it so reluctantly. I’m sure the first question that comes to mind is “why would I live with that person in the first place?”

No one would tolerate this. Unfortunately, most of the time, the two people are inseparable because they are one. The worst person who could give you a hard time is yourself. There’s no way you can avoid or run away from yourself.

How many times do we tell ourselves that if we were different, stronger, more intelligent, we would have a better life? How quick we are to blame ourselves for every unwanted thing that happens in our lives even when it has nothing to do with our actions! We even go as far as blaming ourselves for the mistakes done to us by others.

For example;I text him, he doesn’t reply for several days, I go nuts, “what did I do to make him hate me this much?” Girls with boyfriends, can you relate? Why not think that they have other more important things on their mind or that they just forgot?

For the majority of us, if we treated and talked to people the way we do to ourselves, no one would be willing to have anything to do with us anymore.

Most of the people, even adults who have lived long enough to realize that perfection is an unattainable goal for humans won’t swallow their pride and admit to themselves that it’s not in their ability to make everything work out as they wish. They are like chasing after the wind.

Forgiving ourselves plays an essential role in our well-being, yet we barely spend a few minutes without thinking of everything that is wrong with us.

The following are two common myths that keep us restless thinking that it’s all in our best interest to be perfect.

1. You can do anything if you work hard.

If things didn’t work out your way, you haven’t been working hard enough.

People say that you can do anything as long as you want to and work hard enough. How lovely! I’d like it to be true. But guess what; it is not.

Then should we quit making any efforts to be perfect? Absolutely! You must be thinking that I’m psychotic, huh?

I believe that we should live and work as best as our imperfect nature allows. And don’t think that it is a low standard. It is higher than you think, just not perfect.

Acknowledging that our abilities are limited may sound like a sure path to the decline of our productivity and efficiency, but it actually boosts it.

If perfection is all you want, you will start with incredible courage but in the long run you will be left with shattered expectations because you won’t be able to digest a couple of failures.

However, if you know that some things aren’t meant for you, you’ll know when to let go and pursue other things you are actually good at. If you know that you can’t have everything all at once, you will learn to prioritize and then you will chill and go at a small and realistic pace.

Yeah, the thought of being successful at every field is motivating but we should pose to think of what we consider as success. Regardless of the results you obtain, when you do everything ‘possible’ for a good cause; that is success.

If you think of success as being and having everything good, you’re in for a huge disappointment.

It is no surprise that sometimes we do our best and still get unsatisfactory results. We are all born imperfect whether we like it or not. Why hate yourself for a trait that everyone shares?

Only God is all-powerful, not us. Not all nature and circumstances are on our command. Why can’t we seem to grasp and accept reality? It won’t stop us from wanting the best but it will prevent us from unnecessary pain and distress.

2. Don't celebrate your victories.

It is wicked to appreciate yourself, noble to exalt others and undermine yourself.

I don’t suggest that you go around telling people how great you are. They would all hate you and call you names.

Still, it’s not written anywhere that humility is the same as demonizing yourself and putting your needs last. We need to love ourselves and allow ourselves to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and correct them.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that in order to live our lives to the fullest, we should solve other people’s problems and cause none to ourselves. Pushing yourself so hard to be someone you are not isn’t the definition of living life to the fullest.

As important as serving others is, it is not the only thing involved in living. Of course, we need to be good family members, obedient employees, considerate employers, helping friends and make other people in our society feel good. But definitely not on our expense.

Let us be honest; how likely are we to respond compassionately to the mistakes of others if we can’t even forgive ourselves? Hating yourself for your shortcomings around every one who is important to you, means that you also judge others who don’t show up every time you face a problem or challenge.

This is when we find ourselves arguing with and being upset at our friends for petty reasons like not responding to our calls, forgetting to ask how we’re doing, not replying to our text messages for several days, not informing us what their plans are, and so many others.

Only if we accept that everyone errs and it is okay to make mistakes will we be able to tolerate and understand the mistakes of others.

Expecting too much from others and ourselves leads to exhaustion, self-destruction and diminishes our chances of being happy in life.

Let’s work as best as we can and most importantly never forget to appreciate the obtained results if they are good and be compassionate towards ourselves and try again if they are unsatisfactory.

Can you relate to these experiences discussed in this article? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.