Hiding Behind The Shameful Culture Of Body Shaming

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

Author: Irakoze Gisèle

We are living in an era where people want to influence your opinions regarding the way you look, talk, walk, work and live.

It's a shame that we are living in a times you like something but fear to do it because you feel ashamed not just in the name of shame but because people baptized it the way they want it.

Why is it too hard for people to understand that the difference in body shaping has nothing to do with body shaming,(I highlight this)

No offense, but this has reached to a level which is very unpleasing that most of people would even start feeling unwelcome in society. To be more accurate here's my story

1. Shame at school

I started increasing in weight and becoming bigger in 2013, I rose from 45 to 65 within only some months! It was unusual of course. I started workouts, tight regime and it started dropping down.

The school I went to was very favorable (I'd say), well facts are, I always felt comfortable and so was everyone!

I don't know if it was because it was a girl's school and yes a higher percent was because of that, I was not criticized, or judged about my weight but a year latter when I moved to another school that's when everything started.

I remember the first day I entered the class, everyone was looking at me very disgustingly as if they did not want me in their class.

It turned to be that I didn't like to sit at the back but I had to, since everyone, I mean everyone that was seated alone didn't want me to sit with them (Just imagine that first impression on your first day at school).

I was very unhappy and luckily I was a day scholar if it wasn't it I wouldn't have survived the harassment. It wasn't just for a week, not a month but all 3 years I spent to that school.

I'm not gonna say I was hated but instead I wasn't feeling welcomed in the society. This shameful culture made me feel like the ugliest person on the planet and the most unpleasant person and I began to do whatever I could to get out of that shame.

I started workout and I can count how many times I'd eat in a month since it was very little.

This is how I started concentrating on my grades. I had noticed I was not beautiful just the way I was, that I needed more and that was through weight loss, so if it was not going to work then I had to become smart in class (you know what I mean huh).

I swear no one can understand it until they face it. Unless they are pushed to do whatever it takes in order to be seen and treated the right way. That is how I hid myself behind that shameful culture to survive these conditions.

2. Shame in my family

It's almost very normal that siblings as they grow they keep complaining that they are treated unequally and one of the reasons that till today I am still fighting with is how my family(generally, not mom and dad to be precise) would not accept me the way I am. They just want more of who I am despite the love I have for them. I'm no gonna lie, every time I meet my cousins, aunties, uncles all they'd say is

"subwo unganute (Look at how big you are)!?",

" please stop eating that much, start going to the gym" and besides the fact that it's none of their business, who doesn't even care about the weight loss!

The fact that my sister has to be outstanding "sureba undi mwana" and compared to me is very embarrassing.

The pressure itself was and is very intense and before I got used to it, I'd always lock myself in the room and cry. I hated it when it was dinner time, because I had to be conscious about how much I should eat, and how much sugar to put in my tea. It was like hell.

Everything that surrounded me was a shameful culture, be it at church, with my friends, and now with myself!

I always felt guilty of failing at everything. To be honest I would do anything to prove people wrong and show them that my shape and weight has nothing to do with success.

How to overcome the shameful culture hideout

I have to say as years go the shameful culture never ends. We only learn to control it and when it comes to something that people think you have control over, it becomes worse. People forget that we are genetically different and our hormones work in different ways!

E.g: we have short people and tall people. We have dark skin people and brown skin people. So why is it too hard to understand that we also have to have slim people and big people?

Before judging someone, we should ask ourselves if everything about us is perfect enough for not to be judged!

It is quite a process that someone has to deal with on a daily basis. The first step is to be real and not pretending to be someone else. At first it can be embracing but with time, it can be controlled as long as there is self acceptance!

On my side, I did all I could just to meet people's expectations but at the end of the day, I wasn't feeling good and myself.

So, for me to be happy, I had to be who I want not who people think I should be. I'm no gonna lie I think I'm the happiest woman on this planet, because I am ME and me is who God decided. If you love someone, love them for who they are and what they are and live harmoniously.

Let's celebrate this life when we still can and stop hiding behind the shameful culture.