To Every Girl Who Ever Struggled With Being Seen.

When I was a little girl, I came up with an idea to lie that I had failed a math test... I freaked out because I knew I would be praised.

Author: Utuje Bénie

When people achieve something great, they are admired, praised and all the good stuff; but what happens after that? Some are encouraged to do better but others feel so proud of themselves and they stop there.

How depressing it is to know that the best things in life (like success) can prevent us from growing and developing!

Relaxing and then reducing your efforts because people are telling you how great you are is ridiculous! … regardless of the fact that it is way more reasonable than how I react (I get paranoid because I hate drawing attention to myself).

Comfort isn't the only thing that stops people from seeking improvement.

Ever heard of 'Fear of Success'? As silly as it may sound, people who are uncomfortable with success actually exist! It just makes them feel too exposed. This is as bad as being arrogant.

It is not uncommon to find that within the creative community, the are two opposing camps at play. On one end, we have those who crave admiration while on the other, we have those who fear and may even be crippled by the idea of being seen.

It is simple. They all limit our achievements.

If you only work for admiration, you will quit the moment you are admired because you got what was making you work hard. Alternatively, if you don’t want to be seen you won’t put any efforts in being as good as you can.

Some people immediately find someone or something to blame; others whose self-esteem is already weak, simply quit and beat themselves up for the rest of their lives but intelligent people consider it as an opportunity to learn.

The point is; every minute, something is ready to push us backwards if we let it. It may be internal like fear, arrogance, self-doubt or it may be external like criticism, bad advice, failure, circumstances or something else.

Our courage and enthusiasm are tested at every step we take. Unless they are stronger than that ‘something’ that is pushing us, we can never expect to move forward.

We can benefit or lose, regardless of whether we are in a favorable situation or in an unfavorable one. It only depends on what we choose to focus on and how much we are willing to fight for what we want.

You’ll always find people to discourage you the moment you try something new. You will always feel an urge to quit whenever you fail. All these things: criticism, fear of failure, bad advice, and arrogance almost come naturally because we are just humans who live in a human society. Nevertheless, we can do something about it.

We can’t shut the critic’s mouth, but we can choose to ignore them. We can’t be certain that what we are going to do will go exactly as planned, but we can learn to be comfortable with uncertainty.

We can’t run without falling down but we can choose to stand up again. We can’t stop people from telling us how great we are but we can keep in our minds that the sky is the limit.

We are so inclined on seeing the wrong in a concept that we often fail to see how good and profitable it may be. For instance, it is a common belief that success may result into arrogance and pride. Leaving your comfort zone will always be terrifying.

When I was still a little girl, there was one time I was the only student in my class who passed a mathematics test. All of my friends failed it. The math teacher was going to punish my friends for failing the test.

Instead of being glad that I passed, I, to no one’s surprise, freaked out because I knew I would be praised by my teacher and this could potentially cause my classmates to hate me. I came up with an idea to lie that I had failed too, and then got punished with others.

That was a terrible idea considering that the teacher would find out that I lied and/or he would beat me and I would humiliate myself by crying in front of everyone after trying so hard to act brave for the sake of my friendship with others.

Long story short, both happened.

Who would have thought someone could possibly wish they hadn’t passed a test! I’m starting to think that the person who said “be careful what you wish for because you may receive it” knew me so well and was secretly addressing me.

Our ability of turning blessings into problems is just unbelievable.

However, we are also capable of turning problems into blessings. Most people from poor families can do everything and anything to get money. They are not afraid of being laughed at or facing challenges because they know that poverty is much worse than all of that. Suffering made them more competent than others.

You can’t find a successful person who hasn’t failed at least once. They have two common qualities that makes them special. First of all, failure or disappointment doesn’t make them quit; rather, it teaches them. Secondly, they are never satisfied with ‘good’; they want ‘best’.

Since we have seen that good things could be derived from even what we consider the worst circumstances, we only have ourselves to blame if we are not living as best as we possibly can. Let us also think about our reactions to failure.

Let us evaluate ourselves and see if our attitude isn’t what keeps us from moving forward. Let us also remember that there’s no such thing as being steady. We are either moving forward or backward.