My Life In A Glimpse Of Solitude During COVID.

We’ve bought into the myth that life is about doing and achieving. However, the concepts of gratitude, mindfulness and acceptance of mental health have eased the inflexibilities of our 24/7 life. Not waking up and doing one thing over and over again.

Author: Donavine Mutangana.

“Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.”  ~Paulo Coelho

There is no way one could say that 2020 was not crap to almost everyone except the lucky ones. No! It’s not even a matter of luck or not because I believe we were all affected by the pandemic in one way or another.

The majority experienced hell this year. At the end of February, I went to visit my grandparents in the Eastern province. It had been years without seeing them. I had to check on them since I was on holiday.

You know the excitement grandparents always get whenever they get to see their

grandchildren. I had planned to stay there for only a week but as far as the care I got from them was concerned, I couldn’t leave.

These people are addictive. Things started to get interesting the moment my grandpa started narrating my mother’s love story with my father and the scenarios were hilarious.

Spending time with them was one of the best memories 2020 granted me with. I had to return home since when I am not at home everyone gets bored. 

In Kinyarwanda we have a saying that says “akaryoshye ntigahora mw’itama”. Which means that sweet things don’t last long in our mouth. COVID19 stepped in right away and some of us were excited about it and others felt betrayed. While I was back at home, the whole country went into lockdown.

During the initial weeks when Rwandans were mandated to stay home and unable to socialize, when every breathe felt like a threat, learning to get used was next to impossible to some people, while for me it was a blessing.

That period of confinement at home was the most peaceful I have felt in months. I was bubbling with myself, and apart from cooking, which is pretty mediocre at best, my stress levels reduced.

I have tried to outrun death by filling every moment of every day with activities like reading, chatting with friends via video calls, games and debates with siblings.

We’ve bought into the myth that life is about action and achievement, not waking up and do one thing over and over again. However, the concepts of gratitude, mindfulness and the acceptance of mental health have eased the inflexibilities of our 24/7 life.

Enforced confinement has brought about certain exposures and a sense of satisfaction of a simple life, though it felt disgusting sometimes. Life was easier. There were no choices to be made.

I didn’t have to decide which friends to see or where to go for dinner, and I wondered where the day had gone. I had time to do the things that I had put off because there was always something better to do like cleaning my room, catching up on books I’ve meant to read.

There were podcasts to listen to and deep thoughts to think about. What I should do with the rest of my life.

The lockdown has allowed me to internalize positivity about life and many of us gained a lot this whole time like artists had enough time to meditate and craft new pieces. Parents gathered with their family and children felt the presence of their parents.

This lockdown brought all pieces of myself back together. I was able to reunite myself with my other selves, until I once again appreciated small and big things.

Now, having read my story, do you think the lockdown should be cursed the way most of us did? I don’t think it should be because as far as I am concerned, it helped me discover many things I didn’t know I am capable of doing.

I urge you to practice solitude today or tomorrow and delete the word “impossible” in your mind. Anything that we go through, as long as it brings us growth and greatness, we have to smile at it and embrace it.

Growth is limitless and can never be locked down!