Dear Self

I am so glad to have met you,

I want to remind you how beautiful you are,

How strong you became,

How brave you stand and how incomparable you are.

It’s ok to fall but I know you will get up.

It’s ok to feel weak but I know you’re stronger than what shakes you. Keep moving forward Darling.

Author: Iribagiza Patience

You are given all the problems you have because you’re strong enough to cope with all of them. You might sometimes lose the strength to face them, think of giving up but that’s not the end, it is the beginning of your growth and a start to your story.

It’s always okay to sometimes feel disconnected to your dear ones and the world. I always say that sometimes alone is the safer world to live in. You relax yourself, think about you and what you want, get to know yourself more and explore.

There are situations we get into and find our other selves. All I want to say is that there are parts of our inner selves we don’t know that need us to spare time and explore.

Several times I did lose myself, and one day I felt like regretting my existence in this dark and cruel world.

I was struggling with my poor job that I almost felt like I would rather sit home, my boss giving me hard times, my aunt had just passed away a few months before that moment, her sister was being tortured and violated by her husband, my big family was trying to take care of me and my siblings and also being here and there for both of their families.

Every call from my mom was to tell a certain problem; I hated everything and everyone to cut it short. And the worst case scenario; I am the kind of person who is always concerned and wants to fix things in our family, on top of being a first born.

All I had to do at the moment was writing. At least, that would make things feel less of a burden to me. And this is what I wrote:

I once was an eagle

Flew from a start to an end

Drew stars in the sky

And when I fell

It was like a broken piece of glass,

Got dry like a dry leaf

No hope, no faith

My days while staring

I thought it was just a glance

For a minute, I would see sun rays again,

I screamed

I cried

The day became night

The night got darker

Craving for help

And none showed up,

My voice couldn’t be heard

My words were broken

My body couldn’t make a move

My heart was frozen

All had fallen apart.

Is there anyone to help?

My heart whispered.

Breathing was a tug of war

Crying was no more

“I am done”

Was a butterfly moving around?

The fight was fading

My hands were bleeding

My mind was reading “DONE”

Counting down to end of story

Smelling a goodbye,

Was there a second chance to stand on my feet?

I couldn’t see that coming

I was out of myself

So desperate

So numb

So dumb to think

I was laying down in a twist pose,

I was in the midst of nothing but danger

“Can I go forward or backward”

Was a lullaby in my head!

I didn’t have a choice but to let it be,

I needed a drop of water

To bring me back to life

I needed a hand to raise me up

I needed a smile to give me tomorrow

I needed light to wake my heart

But that was just that

I was waking the dead,

And so

I thought

I imagined

I felt

And heard a word spoken

“Don’t let me down”

My inner person told me,

“It was just a dream”

I told myself

I felt water droplets

Maybe that’s rain!

Thought I was dead dreaming,

Rise up! Rise up!

Stand on your feet!

Open your eyes!

Breathe!

You’re Alive

And so I did

It was real!

So it rained! I jumped

I smiled

I was still alive

I was stronger than before

Superpowers were real

I felt like moving a tower.

Sometimes our minds, souls, and body shut down and all we need is to reboot our systems, to start anew, to solve a few errors or problems in our lives.

Tell yourself what you want to hear because you know where you’re hurting. We face what we didn’t plan but we don’t have to let it determine what we have to be or feel for the rest of our days.

As I was writing that poem, I was talking to myself at the moment and I realized a lot that changed the way I feel.

One of the important things I learnt was that I am strong.

Quoting Lalah Delia, a spiritual writer, wellness educator and the founder of vibrateHigherDaily.com, “When she remembered who she was, the game changed”. And that is how my game changed too. And this is what I always write and tell myself;

Dear Self,

I am so glad to have met you. I just want to remind you how beautiful you are,

How strong you became, how brave you stand and how incomparable you are.

It’s ok to fall but I know you will get up. It’s ok to feel weak but I know you’re stronger than what shakes you. Keep moving forward Darling.

I am sure your game can change too, only if you relax yourself and remember and know who you are.

Yours truly,

Inner-self